Misunderstood
(From my point of view, for you it could be different)
OOWEE! This has been the story of my life, especially in adulthood.
I’ve heard people speak negatively about me without ever taking the time to truly know me. And honestly? Shame on them. But then there’s the other side — the ones who have gotten close, and once they realize we’re not a good fit, they choose to tear me down instead of simply letting go with grace. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, but if what you have to say isn’t kind, true, or helpful… maybe keep it to yourself.
Being misunderstood, for me, usually stems from one-sided stories that serve a particular narrative and sadly, that version of me often sticks. All it takes is one off interaction, a bad day, or a moment of stress, and suddenly I’m labeled: “unapproachable,” “cold,” or “difficult.” As if I walk around without feelings or depth.
Here’s what I’ve come to understand: People often mistake my logic, confidence, standards, and assertiveness as being harsh or lacking empathy. But the truth is, I’ve had to build those things early, especially as a Dark-skinned Black woman navigating a world that too often misreads and mistreats us.
My confidence was born from necessity. My standards? A result of giving too many chances to people who didn’t value me. And yes, as a woman, having standards should be the norm, not the exception. Why accept crumbs when I know I deserve the whole loaf? I carry myself boldly, and I’m aware that can feel intimidating to some.
But my assertiveness is simply my effort to communicate clearly, to speak my truth with honesty and gentleness for those who are willing to hear me.
I’ve learned this: Don’t come to me if you’re not ready for the truth or to meet yourself. I mirror what I’m given. And I’ve realized I don’t have space for drama or constant complaints without solutions.
What I embrace most is this: I’m always myself. There were times I questioned if I should dim my light for the comfort of others but no, I wouldn’t ask someone else to do that for me.
I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. No one is for everybody.
But I do believe we can learn from each other, even if we don’t always agree. Maybe instead of judging, people should take notes. Maybe we all need to remember: It’s not just about what you meant — it’s about how it landed. Impact over intent, always.
Being misunderstood has taught me that I truly have thick skin. And I’ve come to find peace in it because those who really hear me, hear my heart. Those who truly see me, see my light.